Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The Benefits Of IMMAT Are Simply Amazing!!

IMMAT Treatment Day 2

IMMAT Treatment Day 21

Thousands of testimonials from satisfied IMMAT users continue to pour into our corporate offices on a daily basis. We ourselves remain astonished by the array of physical and mental health benefits derived from consistent IMMAT usage.

IMMAT has demonstrated it's efficacy in a wide variety of areas ---from the treatment of blockages to success, self sabotage issues, low self esteem and foot fungus.

The above photos give a good visual impression of an IMMAT treatment success program. Notice that the photo on the top embodies a tired ass at the end of a long work day. Three weeks later, the photo on the bottom clearly demonstrates that the IMMAT has been working. Notice that the tired lines are gone and that the cheeks look more refreshed and resilient.

Clearly IMMAT makes a difference. Get yours now!!!

Monday, September 25, 2006

You've Come A Long Way, Baby

IMMAT continues to go through new incarnations in it's quest for improving lives. Some of the latest quantum physics research performed on our technology reveals new ways to enhance IMMAT frequencies...and consequently makes for a more powerful product. We have already incorporated many of these changes into the current version of IMMAT.

As you can see from the picture, the new improved purple band version of IMMAT far outstrips the beta version of IMMAT. We just keep getting better!!!

Keep watching for more improvements!!! And don't forget to order your IMMAT today!!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Death By Meeting

Today, one of my clients tipped me off to a book called "Death by Meeting" by Patrick M. Lencion. The concept of death by meeting (and IMMAT's helpful contribution in relieving ass fatigue) has been documented by many of our glowing testimonials this past week. Make sure you join the ranks of those "in the know." Order your IMMAT today!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The Philosophy of IMMAT

Today, I had an interesting conversation with a friend at lunch. The conversation exposed and defined IMMAT philosophy and it's principles at work in people's lives.

I disclosed to him, that my gravest concern regarding IMMAT, is that technology of this magnitude could one day be used as as a force for evil in the world. No doubt, emotions of this sort were felt by the developers of the atom bomb.

However, my friend served to help me define the difference between satire and sarcasm:
  • Satire: is a technique of writing or art which exposes the follies of its subject (for example, individuals, organizations, or states) to ridicule, often as an intended means of provoking or preventing change. The humor of satire tends to be subtle, using irony and deadpan humour liberally.
  • Sarcasm: is sneering, jesting, or mocking a person, situation or thing.....Use of sarcasm is sometimes viewed as an expression of concealed anger, negativity, or rage.
My friend then reminded me of Jonathan Swift who wrote an excellent essay on "how to eat your young." Wikipedia further establishes Swift as a premier satirist as it describes his essay "A Modest Proposal" (1729) in which Swift (with horrifying logic) recommends that Irish poverty can be solved by breeding up their infants as food for the rich.

It is clear that IMMAT seeks to follow such rich traditions.

This is the brilliance of IMMAT....a force for good and not for evil.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

My Cubicle

Is your office undergoing budget cuts similar to the office in the picture? And are the walls of your cubicle closing in on you? For those of you who relate to the cubicle blues, please listen to the following song and ORDER AN IMMAT IMMEDIATELY. (For those of you who appreciate a different format for the Cubicle blues...go here now).

Remember...budget cuts could be coming to a cubicle near you soon. Be prepared.

Home Remedies

Recently. a friend of mine (that's you James) had a traumatic choking episode. My research in this area led me to the following home remedies for this and other common problems.


1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. And don't forget to order your IMMAT bands...a new shipment has just arrived!!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Just Because You're Paranoid......

doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Stress At Work

As many of you IMMAT fans know, stress at work is tremendously abated by our new IMMAT technology. Put those wrist bands on and face the day!!

The following video defines what can happen without an IMMAT. Don't let this happen to you!!!!

By the way...this guy looks a little like a friend of mine. I bet you didn't know they were filming you, JDB. Too bad you weren't wearing your IMMAT.